Murphy's First Law: Nothing is as easy as it looks. Murphy's Second Law: Everything takes longer than you think. Murphy's Third Law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Murphy's Fourth Law: If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong. Corollary: If there is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will happen then. Murphy's Fifth Law: If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway. Murphy's Sixth Law: If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop. Murphy's Seventh Law: Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse. Murphy's Eighth Law: If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. Murphy's Ninth Law: Nature always sides with the hidden flaw. Murphy's Tenth Law: Mother nature is a bitch. Murphy's Eleventh Law: It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious. Murphy's Twelfth Law: Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first. Murphy's Thirteenth Law: Every solution breeds new problems. From kencham@atto.cs.umn.edu Tue Dec 29 23:38:34 1992 Newsgroups: alt.quotations From: kencham@atto.cs.umn.edu (Deepak Kenchammana-Hosekote) Subject: Re: Murphy's Laws and other laws Nntp-Posting-Host: atto.cs.umn.edu Organization: University of Minnesota Date: Wed, 30 Dec 1992 02:33:07 GMT Since I asked the question, I suppose it is necessary to make the 'not-so -obvious' that I have. Here goes _Murphy's Laws on Combat_ , 1. If the enemy is in range, so are you. 2. Incoming fire has the right of way. 3. Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire. 4. There is always a way. 5. The easy way is always mined. 6. Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo. 7. Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous. 8. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: a. when you're ready for them. b. when you're not ready for them. 9. Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at. 10. If you can't remember, then the claymore is pointed at you. 11. The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack. 12. A "sucking chest wound" is nature's way of telling you to slow down. 13. If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush. 14. Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you. 15. Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing. 16. Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you won't be able to get out. 17. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself. 18. If you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in a combat zone. 19. When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy. 20. Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Perhaps it's time someone mentioned the *real* Murphy's Law. >From the Jargon File, release 2.9.10: :Murphy's Law: prov. The correct, *original* Murphy's Law reads: "If there are two or more ways to do something, and one of those ways can result in a catastrophe, then someone will do it." This is a principle of defensive design, cited here because it is usually given in mutant forms less descriptive of the challenges of design for lusers. For example, you don't make a two-pin plug symmetrical and then label it `THIS WAY UP'; if it matters which way it is plugged in, then you make the design asymmetrical (see also the anecdote under {magic smoke}). Edward A. Murphy, Jr. was one of the engineers on the rocket-sled experiments that were done by the U.S. Air Force in 1949 to test human acceleration tolerances (USAF project MX981). One experiment involved a set of 16 accelerometers mounted to different parts of the subject's body. There were two ways each sensor could be glued to its mount, and somebody methodically installed all 16 the wrong way around. Murphy then made the original form of his pronouncement, which the test subject (Major John Paul Stapp) quoted at a news conference a few days later. Within months `Murphy's Law' had spread to various technical cultures connected to aerospace engineering. Before too many years had gone by variants had passed into the popular imagination, changing as they went. Most of these are variants on "Anything that can go wrong, will"; this is sometimes referred to as {Finagle's Law}. The memetic drift apparent in these mutants clearly demonstrates Murphy's Law acting on itself! (In other words, if there is a wrong way to quote Murphy's Law, then someone will quote it that way.) From rao@moose.cccs.umn.edu Fri Jan 1 09:08:51 1993 Newsgroups: alt.quotations From: rao@moose.cccs.umn.edu (Rao Akella) Subject: Re: Murphy's Laws and other laws Nntp-Posting-Host: knife.cccs.umn.edu Reply-To: rao@moose.cccs.umn.edu Organization: Colon Cancer Control Study, University of Minnesota, Minneapolis Date: Wed, 30 Dec 1992 21:04:41 GMT In article , kencham@atto.cs.umn.edu (Deepak Kenchammana-Hosekote) writes: > > Here goes _Murphy's Laws on Combat_... > [20 laws included at the end of this article] Here goes 42 more... 21. Friendly fire isn't. 22. If the platoon Sergeant can see you, so can the enemy. 23. Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep. 24. The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass. 25. There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole. 26. A grenade with a seven second fuse will always burn down in four seconds. 27. Remember, a retreating enemy is probably just regrouping for a counter-attack. 28. If at first you don't succeed, call in an air-strike. 29. Exceptions prove the rule, and destroy the battle plan. 30. Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the General is watching. 31. The enemy never watches until you make a mistake. 32. One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many. 33. A clean (and dry) set of BDU's is a magnet for mud and rain. 34. Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss. Whenever you are low on ammo, you can't hit the broad side of a barn. 35. The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired. 36. Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 37. Interchangeable parts aren't. 38. No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill. 39. There is no such thing as military 'intelligence'. 40. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism in boot camp. 41. The one item you need is always in short supply. 42. The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it. 43. The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator. 44. Airstrikes always overshoot the target, artillery always falls short. 45. When reviewing the radio frequencies that you just wrote down, the most important ones are always illegible. 46. Those who hesitate under fire usually do not end up KIA or WIA. 47. The tough part about being an officer is that the troops don't know what they want, but they know for certain what they DON'T want. 48. To steal information from a person is called plagarism. To steal information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence. 49. The weapon that usually jams when you need it the most is the M60. 50. The perfect officer for the job will transfer in the day after that billet is filled by someone else. 51. When you have sufficient supplies and ammo, the emeny takes 2 weeks to attack. When you are low on supplies and ammo, the enemy decides to attack that night. 52. The newest and least experienced soldier will usually win the Congressional Medal Of Honor. 53. A Purple Heart just goes to prove that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive. 54. The enemy never monitors your radio frequency until you broadcast on an unsecure channel. 55. Whenever you drop your equipment in a fire-fight, your ammo and grenades always fall the farthest away, and your canteen always lands at your feet. 56. As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains. 57. Never tell the platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do. 58. The seriousness of a wound received in a fire-fight is inversely proportional to the distance to any form of cover. 59. Walking point = sniper bait. 60. Your bivouac for the night is the spot where got tired of marching that day. 61. If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is usually a stupid solution. 62. Murphy was a grunt.